Reflections

For several months now I have been in a state of anxiety or unease about turning fifty. It isn't the number per say that I have an issue with so much as what the past fifty years have held for me. As I've been reflecting on this it came to me that it isn't the past fifty years that I'm caught up in but the next fifty or however many God sees fit to give me. Taking stock in my life: where I've been and what I've done; where I'm going and what I still want to do - this has taken a lot of mental energy, but I finally have a grasp on reality: I can't change the past and I can't control the future so I'll just live in the "here and now."

I am truly a very blessed woman. God has been gracious to me, to say the least. He has given me more chances in my life to "get it right" then I can count so I'll go on each day making sure I keep it right!! I have the most amazing man in the world who loves me completely and a hundred percent without condition. I have 6 absolutely beautiful children who have taught me so much about who I am, grandchildren who keep me young and a best friend who really "gets me."

When I was a little girl my mother often listened to a song by Doris Day and I can't help but hear those words now:


When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I grew up, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

So until the next time folks: May your troubles be few and your blessings be many.

Que Sera, Sera.
Mel