"Is there life out there?"

Have you ever gotten stuck on a song or part of one that invades every other thought inside your brain? For me today is one of those days when my thoughts are rambling - can't seem to focus on just one thing - And then to top it all off, there is a song that insists on invading my thought territory.

"I've got friends in low places, where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away, well, I'll be ok..."

I get a little further into the song than that and then off to another thinking tangent I go. So many things that I need and want to do, yet so many things that keep getting in the way, or should I say, so many thoughts getting in the way. My own thoughts, which I believe can sometimes do more good or damage than the random spoken thoughts of those around me. Anyhow, bare with me, because I'm afraid my writing today might be as jumbled and misguided as the jibberish in my head.

I'm pretty sure the rambling mess that is my thought process today is because of the many decisions I'm trying to make. It seems I've decided to make some changes in my life, actually several changes, but maybe - just maybe - I'm guilty of a little "self destructive behaviour." Allow me to explain: I want to shed my old skin, so to speak. I want to lose all the dead garbage that has been my past, and without losing the soul beneath, I want to create a stronger, healthier, more attractive me. I want to go into the next chapter of my life with a strong mind, a strong body and an even stronger happier soul!

So here's where the self destruction comes in: I keep sabotaging my own efforts at change. So I ask myself, "Have I become such a creature of habit that I am willing to stay in this bubble for the rest of my life?" It's not as dramatic as it may sound, I love the people around me: my husband, my children, grandchildren, friends and family... My issue is that I want to enhance the experience!

The thing is though that my children are grown and while they were growing up I loved being at home with them, getting them off to school, being there to pick them up and doing all the things that come with loving my awesome children. But I no longer have anyone to wake at the crack of dawn so I'm not as motivated to start my mornings that early anymore either. I don't have to make sure that my little ones are fed a healthy breakfast or make sure that they are sleeping by nine. I don't have to look over their shoulders to check their homework... And with the economy on such a downslope, my husband who has worked for himself since before we met, has become more laid back about his hours of operation; my point being that now I don't have to get up and make his coffee or get him off to work so like I mentioned: I really have no pressing reason to get up early now either. I use to get up and make his coffee and if he wanted it I'd cook his breakfast, I packed his lunches... Wd get the idea.

I did those things and much more for my husband and children because it was what I wanted to do! I enjoyed ever minute of being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend...

But now, I want more. That's the really the main point of all these distorted thought waves: I want more!

It's funny because the song that should be going through my head today is an awsome Reba song: "Is there life out there? So much she hasn't done. Is there life beyond her family and her home?"

Yes, I believe there is!

I am confident that along with being a strong wife and mother, I can be an even stronger motivator of me! And so to answer the question, "Is there life out there?" Yes.

Am I afraid of change? Yes. I am. I am afraid of what's outside my bubble. I've seen some of what's outside my bubble and quite frankly it scares the ever living bejeezes out of me! But I've also seen things outside my bubble that are exciting and wonderful and intriguing and...

...I read a book several years ago and I read it or parts of it several times. "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers;

"Feel the fear and do it anyway." I adopted that mantra for myself. I truly have repeated those words to not only myself but people I care about. I have repeated them over and again throughout the course of my life since the first time I read the book. And I know that I'll continue to repeat them as I figure out what I'm doing and where my life's adventures take me from this point forward!

And as far as that stupid song that keeps popping in: Well I think I may go and sing some karaoke; maybe some Garth Brooks.

Have a wonderful and blessed day everyone! And please excuse me while I go make some changes!